Sites I Read:
*Everlasting Know It All*
*O'Donnell Rules*
*The Comic Monk*
*Good From Afar*
*Dick and Chick*
*Pink is the new Blog*
*Que Sera Sera*
*Post Secret*
*Osbasso (HNT)*
*Big Question*

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eXTReMe Tracker
Thursday, June 30, 2005


I don't normally consume *that* much caffeine, but today I had:

1 Diet Coke
2 Diet Pepsis
2 Iced Teas

I was trying to gear up for writing the review when all I really did was give myself a case of the ADDs. (As if I don't already have ADD tendencies, y'know?)

And then....the war dialing started again and the hamsters in my head had to work even harder to not think about just running up to Wyoming for more sun/fun. I made a pact with myself on yesterday's loooong run ((BTW, yesterday's tally: 1 honk, 1 "owwww", 1 "whoo")) to stop listening to my heart so much and start listening to my gut. Because my gut tends to be a little more on the money. The heart can have a say but the gut, it's got the trump card. Yeah, and the brain, it's in the mix, but man, he pisses me off sometimes. Yup, that's right, my brain is a boy.

Today my gut wanted to buy a truck. And my heart really really wants to buy a truck. We even took a look at some Tacoma TRDs. Mmmmm. Then I drove Ric's truck back to the office and that was kind of the icing on the cake. So Saturday will either be spent looking for/buying a truck or up at the lake. Honestly, my mind so hasn't been made up either way, so I'll be surprised what I do no matter what.

I like to keep myself on my toes these days.

7:02 PM                       1 Comments

St. Peter again I'm drawn to you

I went back to Illegal Pete's today. Guaca Guaca Guaca. Shombody Shtop me! I see bad things. Very Bad Things. Today I was reading their signs...happy hour is mix-n-match buckets of select beers 5 for $12. And $1.50 Coors and Buds! Pete and I, yeah, we're gonna get along just famously.

1:20 PM                       0 Comments

In a Long Tradition of Procrastination

Today is June 30th. Today is the due date for our Annual Reviews at work. It is 10:15 and I've yet to write nary a word on the form. I think it should be illegal for someone to write their own review. Writing your own review is on par with the busy work your teacher would give you in high school. Don't get me wrong, I can write my way from here to Sunday, it just seems kinda overkill the amount of writing/thinking/planning that is required for our intricate "Annual Performance Review" template. As anyone can clearly ascertain from reading this site, I'm all about keeping it short, keepin' it simple, bulleting it out, or expressing my thoughts through song lyrics.


That's totally it! I should write my review in nothing but song lyrics and famous quotes. Oh wait, that's more work than it's worth probably. But how fun would that be for the folks who have to read my review? I'd get an E for effort and an A for creativity.

Mostly it's just time for me suck it up, hunker down and put on my BS hat. Shovel it out, till it, plant some seeds.

So, I'm off to pontificate about my many many wonderful skillz and attributes. Hmmmm...I hope I have some. I gotta bust this bad boy out.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Did you notice how long and BS-full this post was for me? And I used the words nary, intricate, ascertain, pontificate and attributes. Brain has been set to BS mode, I think I'm ready to write this thing.]

10:16 AM                       3 Comments

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

The Burritos are Conspiring

Yup, I'm in trouble. They opened an Illegal Pete's right here by the office. Went there today for lunch. I love their guacamole. It is also dangerous/wonderful that it has a bar.

Illegal Pete's [by my work] and Del Taco [by my house] is going to result in an over-consumption of burrito goodness.

3:51 PM                       2 Comments

On Vitamins, Ms. Hayek's Boobies and Tragically Named Lunch Specials

Morning laugh from

"All the other vitamins I take — the Neurontin, the Valium, and the Prozac — I call those Thank God Tom Cruise Is Not In Charge Otherwise I Would Be Dead Right Now Vitamins."

And another from The Comic Monk:


8:25 AM                       0 Comments

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Beer Girl has broadened her horizons

Good Lord, it's like I just turned 21. While on my run today, I got a call on the bat phone that some drinkin' was going on. In 31 minutes, I showered, dressed and arrived to engage in a little vodka-based drinking. Me gusto beber. Except that Godfather martini. That one gave me the chills. Scotch should not ever be in a martini. The boys were liking the waitresses; but the waitresses just weren't havin' it.

If I do end up marrying Vodka, (because I looooooooove it so much)you all are so invited. It will be a barefoot ceremony on the beach where you'll throw KC Materpiece Lays potato chips and Nacho Cheese Doritos. And I'll catch them in my mouth...and wash them down with a glass of my new husband, Mr. Goose. And none of the ladies will have to pretend that they want to catch the bouquet. On that note, I'm going to bed.

11:58 PM                       0 Comments

Honk +1

On today's run I got honked at. And that was enough to boost my ego. But then....a car with two cute preppy boys pulled up to a stop sign I was running by and said "Bebe, you don't need to be runnin', cuz yo' fine!" Where the hell were you when I was in high school? I would have been your girrrrrlfriend in like 2 seconds.

6:56 PM                       0 Comments

Some funny searches that brought people to my blog in the last five days:

1. Why you laughing i wasn't being funny
2. Heather HOOTERS
4. farts and laughing
5. old roller skating songs

4:08 PM                       4 Comments

On the Sauce

I am soooooo trying this soon. Sounds white-trash delish. Spodie...great word.

10:46 AM                       0 Comments

Picture Girl Strikes Again!

So, here's a record setting amount of pics from this weekend. I mean, I was there for four days, so it's really only an average of 30 pics a day - but it's admittedly a shit ton. (Not to mention an indication of how much fun I had.)

10:39 AM                       3 Comments

Monday, June 27, 2005

Heather: 1, People Who Call me a Hippie: 0


10:05 PM                       0 Comments

Fun in the Sun

Spent a long weekend up at Glendo and it was spectacular. There was the sunning, the drinking, the eating, the laughing, the swimming, and the awesome company.

8:06 PM                       2 Comments

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Peer Pressure

The war-dialingness worked. I am heading up tonight instead of tomorrow. There are a lot of people who were originally supposed to go (when we planned this trip last November)who are unable to attend. Wish you could be there too, Everlasting Know It All!!

Anyway, the phone calls have been numerous and relentless. Supposedly when my car pulls up at the cabin, my first drink will be promptly mixed. I am ready.

5:32 PM                       3 Comments

It's nice to feel wanted

I've been war-dialed all day. And I like it. Well, except the whole, "Ha ha ha, we're up here and you're not." part. My favorite one was when I answered and all I heard was Jimmy Buffet music and giggling. Yup, those guys, they're good people.

3:15 PM                       1 Comments

Cookie Monster

Yesterday after my dentist appointment, since I still had an hour left on my meter, I mosied on down to Jessica's office. She took me across the street to some bakery/deli type place (okay as close to one as Denver can come). They had black and white cookies which they claim to fly in daily from New York. Yeah, I bought one. And it didn't suck.

I really miss the incredible Italian bakeries we have back east. They make the most amazing cookies and breads. The number one thing I miss is good pizza. The number two thing I miss is good bagels. And you would think the B&W cookie would be number three, but it's actually rainbow cookies. Mmmmmmmmm

8:13 AM                       2 Comments

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

"In a world full of people only some want to fly -- Isn't that crazy?"

It takes a few days for black and blues to show up on my body. But they're totally a measure of how much fun one has had.

11:58 AM                       2 Comments

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Things that are in my Head or on my Mind
  • B.Y.O.B. by System of a Down - La la la la la la Woooo-oooo
  • How much sleep I'm lacking.
  • That I have to go all the way downtown tomorrow morning to the dentist. My appointment is sadly not at 2:30 (tooth hurty). Ha ha ha ha. Yeah Mike, I know you want to laugh.
  • I can't believe I got that Billabong swimsuit for $6.99.
  • My Dyson is on the fritz.
  • Deann (and that she can have the baby at any given moment)
  • That even though tomorrow is Wednesday, it's *my* Friday.
  • My flabby triceps.
  • Lucy's ears and that weird vascular condition that eats away at them
  • How awesomely warm it's been.
  • How psyched I am for this weekend
  • How much I miss Mom and Dad
  • Cheddar Pretzel Combos
  • Yo Mama

10:58 PM                       0 Comments

"When the moon is in......Capricorn"

Yeah, I know the song says Aquarius, but Jessica informed me that the full moon is going to be in Capricorn tomorrow and it will again on July 21st. Pretty freakin' cool -- even if I'm not 100% sure what that really means. Jessica said that we're supposed to have some really good luck over the next few weeks. And, honestly, who couldn't use a little good luck?

I looked up my horoscope for tomorrow and it says:

Wed Jun 22: Full Moon
Today's Full Moon will have a galvanizing effect on you during the next two weeks, so stand by, Capricorn! You'll start to realize that you've got to make some major changes to your life, and the sooner the better. These changes may be connected with some of your relationships, perhaps because you need to become more independent of someone or it's about time that the balance of power between you is reorganized. Divine colours are scarlet and Deep gold. Lucky numbers are 12 and 74.

Another one says:
"In particular, the full Moon of June 22nd will arrive just in time to help you be brave and bold, personally speaking. Take advantage of it."

10:19 PM                       2 Comments


It's about time!

8:14 AM                       1 Comments

Monday, June 20, 2005

Tonight's Insomnia-Inspired Happiness Quotes

Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead.
-Scottish Proverb

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections.

A laugh is the shortest distance between two people.
-Victor Borge

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
-Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

Happiness is liberty from everything that makes us unhappy.
-Vernon Howard

11:44 PM                       1 Comments

The State - Reno 911 = Stella

I know I've written about The State before and how much I loved it back the early 90s. Well, some of the cast members are on Reno 911 and three of them are on Stella, which starts next week on Comedy Central. I like that wacky/stupid comedy, so I'm slightly excited.

11:01 PM                       0 Comments

"La la la la la la la la la la -- Everybody is going to the party -- Have a real good time"

I had a great weekend! The weather was gorgeous. I spent over 10 hours at the lake on Saturday...and then a couple more at Emerald Isle after that. :-)

Here are a few things I did on Saturday that I've never done before:

  • Had a bloody mary
  • Rode in a big tube
  • Rode on a "banana" tube/raft
  • Broke the handle off said banana raft
  • Rode in a smaller tube while someone rode in another next to me
  • Drove a boat
  • Played Redneck Golf with someone besides Amy. :-)
  • Ate an entire bag of corn nuts in one sitting
  • Put on a Gun Show
I wore my I didn't get too burned. I even went back for more on Sunday for a few hours. It's pretty cool how many people you can meet in just one day.

10:19 AM                       2 Comments

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Happy Father's Day, Dad!

To the coolest pirate ever....I love you.

8:30 AM                       0 Comments

Friday, June 17, 2005

I Hope You Dance

Attended Shane's dance recital this evening.....there's a lot of little dancing girls in this world. And there's always that one boy.

Funny Face Shane

"I dance and I rock!"

11:22 PM                       0 Comments

Flippin' Sweet

Tina, you fat lard, come get some dinner!

3:40 PM                       0 Comments

On TomKat

When the TV wakes me up in the morning, I have it on the news. And what was the big news this morning? That Tom proposed to Katie. Ummmmm....does anyone really care? Good Lord! This open letter pretty much sums up what most of us are feeling, yes?

1:12 PM                       1 Comments

Friday Five

1. What do you wear to bed?
Shorts and a T-shirt. In the winter - sweats.

2. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
The right.

3. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
Nope. But I do have my baby blanket under my pillow.

4. Blanket/bed hog?
Nope. In my younger days I thrashed around a lot, but I don't think I do that too much anymore.

5. Do you make your bed everyday?
Yes. I can't leave the house without doing so.

8:21 AM                       0 Comments

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Made my Day

Deann IMed me today after she got back from her doctor appointment. The nurse that saw her said that she'd be surprised if Deann didn't give birth by this weekend. (Her due date is July 17th.) I don't know why this excited me, but it so did. I know how ready she is to have the baby and I think that's why I'm so happy about it - because she'll get what she wants. I know the baby furniture isn't going to be delivered until Tuesday and her actual doctor is out of town until Sunday, but I want Ronnie Lynn to arrive this weekend. It can't be next weekend -- I'll be out of town!!

11:06 PM                       0 Comments

Look Yourself Up

A little scary how much it finds.

"You smell an awful lot like floooowers"

Skirtidy skirt skirt

My skirt today makes me wish I was at the beach. So does the hot weather.

1:38 PM                       0 Comments

I Dig my Toes into the Sand

Want it
Kinda like
Sorta like

Gonna keep adding to this...I'm on the hunt for cuteness.

10:55 AM                       1 Comments

Wise Words for Another Sleepless Night

And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
- Abraham Lincoln

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.
- Storm Jameson

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
- Benjamin Franklin

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.
- Cherie Carter-Scott

Hold a true friend with both your hands.
- Nigerian Proverb

Creativity can solve almost any problem. The creative act, the defeat of habit by originality, overcomes everything.
- George Lois

Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.
- Mother Teresa

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?
- Dr. Robert Schuller

12:28 AM                       2 Comments

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Strong Island

I remember back in 4th grade -- when the whole history/ecology/science curriculum was focused on Long Island -- that we learned that New York bought the island from the Indians ("Native Americans") for $26. I guess they're finally pissed about it.

10:10 PM                       0 Comments

Happy Things

1. I tried fried pickles today.
2. I think I have enough stuff now for dad's Father's Day package.
3. Tooth Hurty (2:30) [You know you wanted to laugh!]
4. "...but I think unicorns are kick ass!"
5. Did this without teetering last night.

3:49 PM                       0 Comments

banana slug
Mmmm Banana Slug
Originally uploaded by That Will Guy.

Will has some of the biggest slugs I've ever seen! He estimates that that slug is about 7 inches long. Washington state makes scary crawly thingers.

2:47 PM                       0 Comments

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Can it be?

The weather is lookin' pretty nice for this weekend so I'm hoping to get a little sun. I would like to lose the light-refracting contest next weekend.

10:43 PM                       0 Comments


3:39 PM                       0 Comments

I Can't Help Falling in Love...

with Stella. I just want to love this precious three-legged creature. Fantastic photos!

I am so addicted to flickr - checking out everyone's photos....makes me want to walk around taking photos of everything.

1:51 PM                       0 Comments

Monday, June 13, 2005

Shout Outs
  • Guy who honked at me while I was running - THANK YOU!
  • Guy who slowed down and drove along side me while I ignored him. Yeah, well, when I finally looked, it was Jason. And then he came in for "a drink." Six hours later...he headed home.
  • Goose and Joose
  • Pringles
  • Arena Rock
  • This cover by Ahmet and Dweezil Zappa
  • Your mom

11:57 PM                       0 Comments

"What's Your Desire?"

While most of the blogging world is probably expounding on the 10 not guilties that Mr. Jackson just received, I would like to say this:

Although today was a pretty crappy day - I remained in a good mood, with a side of the giggles. It's amazing what wishing a case of herpes on someone else's bunghole can do. It made me quite giddy - because I had such an evil thought, but funny at the same time. Bunghole is a god among words.

3:39 PM                       1 Comments

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Gangly and Puffy

I noticed this weekend that I have really long arms and extremely puffy veins. I'm not sure if the long arms will ever come in handy, but everyone says the puffy veins are healthy, which is kinda cool to hear. And I saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith this weekend and Angelina Jolie was sportin' some pretty puffy veins herself.

Heather's Hulk Hand

11:11 PM                       0 Comments

Saturday, June 11, 2005


You are not old. And I love you soooooo much.


9:00 PM                       0 Comments

Friday, June 10, 2005

Dear Summer, Please Stop Playing Hard-to-Get. It's Not Cute.

Deann and I got caught in that crazy down pour today. It's pretty funny to try and fit two girls under one umbrella. By the time we got into the restaurant the entire back of my pants were wet. Nothing is freakin' cooler than having wet jeans. Oh, and then the hail, we won't even get into that.

EDIT: We were at a light and it was both red and green. It was funny to watch all the different cars decide what they wanted to do about it.

2:11 PM                       0 Comments

Eerily Accurate

While answering the questions of today's friday five, I looked up what the color green represents and came across the following COLOR TEST. The results are pretty much right on the money. Here's my results:

PROBLEM UNDERLYING THE PRESENT STRESS -- Needs to be valued and respected as an exceptional individual, in order to increase his self-esteem and his feeling of personal worth. Resists mediocrity and sets himself high standards.

DESIRED OBJECTIVE -- Seeks an affectionate relationship, offering fulfillment and happiness. Capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Helpful, and willing to adapt himself if necessary to realize the bond of affection he desires. Needs the same consideration and understanding from others.

CURRENT INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR -- An unadmitted lack of confidence makes him careful to avoid open conflict and he feels he must make the best of things as they are.

Take it and let me know how you fare.

10:45 AM                       1 Comments

Friday Five
Decided to answer with pictures this week.

1. What animal best represents you?

(Golden Retriever puppy -- loyal, playful, smart, loving, has nice hair)

2. What color best represents you?

(Green -- natural, masculine, earthy, calming)

3. What season best represents you?

(Summer -- You can take the girl away from the beach, but goddammit, you'll never take the beach outta the grrrrrl.)

4. What emotion best represents you?

(Uncontrollable laughter -- I used to get in lots of trouble for getting the spontaneous giggles. In college, professors actually made me leave the classroom.)

5. What flower/tree/plant best represents you?

(Hibiscus - bold colors, large, hardy, summery, tropical)

9:27 AM                       0 Comments

Thursday, June 09, 2005


Came in 2nd. (by one point) Oh the irony. Still won $30. Woo hoo.

11:50 AM                       0 Comments

This is Good for Licking

This stream of photos cracks me up.

11:35 AM                       0 Comments

"I Rock Steady, No Doubt!"

I've been spending a lot of time alone lately and it's been cathartic. Not in the sense that I've completely figured myself out [is that even possible???], but that I'm taking the time to know who I am and what I want.

There's one thing I've noticed lately. I don't do anything half-assed. I go overboard, I am excessive, I overcompensate and I can't rein it in. Try as I may to curb the behavior, this trait seems to be inborn. I think it comes from the generosity that my Mom has always displayed and my subconscious battle with being number two. I give big, I help big, I work big, I play big and I love big.

But I also battle with the wall. The wall that stops me from showing people what I truly feel. The wall that has a face that looks like mine, but isn't mine. The wall that nay says and puts down everything I care about and makes me fear.

Well, that wall is about to get its ass knocked down.

11:01 AM                       3 Comments

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

That Loser Heather

Yeah, she just won. How does that work?

11:01 PM                       0 Comments

"Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down."

— Ray Bradbury

3:53 PM                       0 Comments

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Things I'm Liking Today

  • Songs that make me want to get up and dance ("You don’t want no drama, No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama")
  • Being motivated
  • That I have freckles on my knees (and elbows)
  • How happy Hudson is (and that he is the color of a tater tot)
  • Not being the only one who thinks something
  • Corn nuts
  • Having the supporting documentation (Ha!)

Things I'm Not Liking Today

  • Sucky, slow drivers
  • My hurty shoulders
  • No bikinis or wallflowers
  • That I think that several people are hiding something
  • Not sticking to my plan
  • My sciatic
  • Always being #2

10:23 PM                       0 Comments

Inward Singing

"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."
-Carl Jung

11:01 AM                       0 Comments

You had me at Fresh Squeezed Pineapple Juice

I had a rock star Monday night. Mostly because it ended with me at Del Friscos sipping martinis made with fresh squeezed pineapple juice. Man they were good. I haven't been out on a Monday night in quite a while - it was kind of surreal, but awesome.

10:05 AM                       1 Comments

Monday, June 06, 2005

Five Happy Things

1. Del Taco is open!!! (And I went there Sat. and Sun.!)
2. Super crazy fun shoes (and how tall they made everyone)
3. Someone accidently cracking your back
4. Vodka
5. If there were no people in parking lots

11:03 AM                       0 Comments

Swing Life Away -- Rise Against

Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
So let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
We've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

Swing life away

10:50 AM                       0 Comments

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Baby Shower

Never in a million years did I think I'd ever throw a baby shower, but I did exactly that last night for Deann. And in true Heather-style there were no games, no over-the-top cutsie baby stuff, and of course it wasn't just women. I think having an all girls shower would have made Deann just as crazy as it would make me. The rain stopped right before it started and we had a really good turnout. There was plenty of food and alcohol, so overall I'd say it was a success. This just means that we're one more step closer to Deann popping that little girl out. :-)

11:05 AM                       0 Comments

Friday, June 03, 2005

Today is one of those days

Today easily falls into the spot of being one of those days in my life when I most need a drink.

3:05 PM                       1 Comments

You have no idea.

2:10 PM                       2 Comments

How to Tell When the Vegetarian is Not Doing Okay

She wants/is craving bratwurst and hot dogs.

9:31 AM                       0 Comments

Friday Five

1. Have any exciting summer plans?
No, not really. Nothing exciting per se. I'll probably get a new car. I'll probably get a new tattoo. And, oh yeah, figure out how to split up all the stuff. (that will *not* be fun.) :-)

2. What's the best summer vacation you've ever taken?
Trip to Hawaii between 9th and 10th grade.

3. Would we be more likely to see you lounging by a pool or out water skiing?
Probably a little of both with a tendency more toward lounging. I'd *attempt* to water ski.

4. Will you be putting on a swimsuit this season?
Unfortunately, yes.

5. If you could take a summer vacation anywhere, for 3 weeks, where would you go, and why?
Anywhere with awesome beaches. Hawaii, Mexico, Carribean, Florida, East Coast. Mmmm....sand, surf, adult beverages.

8:24 AM                       1 Comments

Thursday, June 02, 2005


Went on a long run and I passed a bus with a Hooters advertisement. I then realized that my running clothes looked almost exactly like the Hooters "uniform." Not that I have the boobies or booty to pass as a Hooters chick, I still laughed at myself.

6:44 PM                       0 Comments

Today is...not a good day.

This morning when I woke up, I was soooooo going to take my first mental health day ever off from work. (Should have gone with the instinct.) If we hadn't have had that harassment training a few weeks ago, my e-mail would be auto-responding with: "Yeah, well, you can suck it!"

Stupid Shit-talkers. Glad I believe in kharma.

1:57 PM                       0 Comments

Wednesday, June 01, 2005


Could this woman *be* any prettier???
(Found these pics via Pink is the New Blog. If you are using IE, they do expand to full size...just click that little arrow thing at the bottom of the strip of photos.)

10:49 AM                       0 Comments

Girl Power

AWESOME! You go girls!

9:09 AM                       0 Comments


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