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*Everlasting Know It All*
*O'Donnell Rules*
*The Comic Monk*
*Good From Afar*
*Dick and Chick*
*Pink is the new Blog*
*Que Sera Sera*
*Post Secret*
*Osbasso (HNT)*
*Big Question*

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eXTReMe Tracker
Friday, March 31, 2006

Inexplicably Giddy

Despite being woken up four times throughout the night by my real-life muppets, I woke up at 5:33am this morning in a good mood. There really is no reason, but here is a list of things that are rockin' my world right now:
  • It is gorgeous out.
  • I have a three-day weekend because I'm off Monday for Opening Day.
  • My pants are fitting looser.
  • My zippers are all staying up, now that I know the trick. This is probably the best thing that has happened to me all week. It's the little things. :-)
  • A new Starburst porn was created by Tim and I was one of the reasons!!
  • It's supposed be AWESOME weather for the next five days.
  • I dig my new toenail polish color.
  • It's Friday!
  • Strappy sandals.

10:23 AM                       12 Comments

Friday Five

1. Name one of your flaws:
I *suck* at general geography. (Although, I can read a map.)

2. Have you ever won first place?
Yes. I won a lot of first places when I was a rower. (Crew: 8-person boats)

Nerdilicious bonus: I won a dictionary for being the smartest kid when we had our "moving up" ceremony in sixth grade.

3. Who is the last person to make you smile?
Will. We were working on some stuff yesterday and we both made the same mistake, but in a different way.

4. Describe a time when you should have tried harder:
Probably in school in general....I never had to try very hard thanks to Mom and Dad's genes, everything was just kinda easy.

5. What are you good at?
Random trivia, being a goofball, hitting my head, remembering people's birthdays, loving my family and friends, making baked ziti, drinking, hiding/avoiding my feelings, finding awesome stuff for cheap, taking showers, cryptograms, algebra, watching TV, cleaning up doggy pee pee, making gift baskets, giggling, finding humor in almost everything, sitting on the beach, buying school supplies, procrastinating, eating, headstands, and being a spaz. :-)

5:39 AM                       6 Comments

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Five Happy Things

1. Finding a $5 bill on the sidewalk.
2. Tokyo Joe's. I'd freebase if it were possible. Kidding. Kinda. ;-)
3. Breaking out the sandals and flips flops every day this work week.
4. Singing out loud.
5. Taking too many photos. (not possible!!)

4:05 PM                       1 Comments

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The More You Know (a HappyKap PSA)

I learned something today that has solved one of the biggest issues that plagues my day-to-day life. When you zip the zipper of your jeans, you're supposed to flip the zipper head down after you zip it up - this locks it into place. I HAD NO IDEA.

Thank you for the lesson, Amy. Now my barn won't be open all the time.

11:40 AM                       5 Comments

Are you more... (from

01) Fast-paced big-city life or slower-paced small-town life?
Fast-paced big-city life

02) A location chooser based on your job(s) or a location chooser based on proximity to friends and family?
A little of both, with a bent toward family/friends.

03) Fan of the allen key (hexagon-head) or hater of the allen key?
I'm indifferent.

04) Someone who loves futons or someone who prefers more traditional couches and beds?
I like them both, but I'm more a couch and bed person.

05) Grateful that winter is gone or anxious for summer to hurry up and get here?
Anxious for summer. So anxious.

06) Grilled cheese sandwich with ham and tomato or just a grilled cheese sandwich?
Just grilled cheese.

07) Simon Cowell or Paula Abdul?
Simon. Because he's not fake.

08) A tiger or a bear?

09) Believing that politicians make the world a better place or believing that the common man makes the world a better place?
Common man all the way.

10) Driven by your loins or driven by your stomach?
I'd say that'd be an even split.

11:27 AM                       2 Comments

Monday, March 27, 2006

How I Spent My Lunch Hour

I went and saw D's new place. It is awesome. Congrats to him! :-) Here's a couple of pics:

Demetrius in his new digsHeather

He even has a closet-under-the-stairs for Harry Potter. Even Harry's room is pretty with it's plush carpeting and textured walls.

2:56 PM                       3 Comments

Drumroll Please

It has been one whole month since I've had any chocolate. My self-imposed moratorium started on February 27th. Haven't decided if I'm going to keep going with it or not.

11:06 AM                       5 Comments

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Random Thought of the Day

It'd be funny if I could play the harmonica...I could whip it out at any given time and get all John Popper on yo' ass.

9:14 PM                       1 Comments

It's Mostly About Me Today

So far today I have cleaned up a demolished pet bad (check out the pic -they are master destroyers), gone for a run/walk, got a pedicure, got a haircut and now I'm gonna go work out. Then I might even go nuts and get my oil changed. Somebody stop me....I'm on a roll.

1:11 PM                       2 Comments

Friday, March 24, 2006

Friday Five

1) Of the various cultures, ethnicities or nationalities you belong to, which most strongly do you consider yourself?

2) Is there a culture you cannot claim heritage from but which you feel quite close to?
Italian or Irish because most of my friends growing up were one or the other.

3) What's one language you wish you knew fluently?
English. Just kidding...probably all languages.

4) If you could move anywhere in the world and be guaranteed a job, etc., where would you go?
Somewhere on the beach. Near my family and friends.

5) If you had a time machine, and could witness any one event without altering or disturbing it, what would you want to see?
Woodstock (1969) or my Mom and Dad meeting.

12:10 PM                       0 Comments

Thursday, March 23, 2006


The only part of my body that stays in shape whether I work out or not - my genetically large calves.


7:38 AM                       19 Comments

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Things About Today (AKA the lazy girl's way to post)
  • Got some compliments from an unexpected source
  • Added Showtime, The Movie Channel and Starz to my DirecTV
  • Added four billion more Season Passes to my DVR after Showtime acquisition
  • Didn't use the word fucktard even once today.
  • But did use the rhetorical "Have you met me?" phrase three times.
  • Gave D a little sugar in the parking lot while Jeff watched. Ha!
  • Got to work with Everlasting Know It All today. It was on the phone, as usual, but it's always a good thing!
  • Had the missing ingredient for Amy's Thursday pot roast....onion soup packets.
  • Ran, did some aerobics and some yoga...the working out begins...we'll see if I can keep it up.
  • Think I can keep motivated if my ass keeps lookin' like I've been been hit with a bag of nickels.
  • Laughed at the lyrics of "Crazy Bitch" by Buckcherry.
  • Made my house smell like burnt ass because I put too much olive oil on my tofu before I put it in the oven.
  • Sang only the dirty parts of my Kid Rock CD when driving to work today. Tee hee.
  • Wanted hot chocolate and successfully resisted temptation.
  • Pontificated
  • Started the process of doing my taxes
  • Got an "it's not you" phone call. I totally thought it was me. Glad to know it wasn't.
  • Want an instant-skinny, instant-happy, instant-sickeningly-wealthy, instant-save-all-the-puppies-in-the-world pill.
  • Made a horribly boring list.

9:16 PM                       3 Comments

I Gots the Stick
Originally uploaded by Laertes.

I found this photo via flickr...I have the photographer in my favorites. I LOVE THIS DOG. I think I've blogged a photo of her before. Stella, the three-legged great dane rocks my world. :-)

So happy!

10:53 AM                       2 Comments

Today's Reason Why I Love Howard Stern

When referring to a female's junk today he called it "hey nanner nanner" and "va-gine." Made me giggle.

10:31 AM                       0 Comments

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

So True, So True

Someone got here on a google image search for "smartest lady in the world".

The fourth one is of my Mom (with my Dad)! Yay!

1:39 PM                       1 Comments

Monday, March 20, 2006

My Feets

Today I was put through a battery of tests so that I can get myself some fashionable orthotics. They're hot, I know you're jealous.

Anyway, the dude-who-makes-the-orthotics (or doctor, if you want to use technical terms) drew all over my feet with a Sharpie. Check it out:


After he had happy-fun-art-time on my skin with permanent marker, I had to walk and run on a treadmill while he videotaped my obviously photogenic feet. Turns out those black lines proved what a freaking spaz I am when I walk/run. No surprise, really.

In two weeks, I'll be walking normal like the rest of the cool kids. No potentially collapsed arch for me.

3:02 PM                       5 Comments

Saturday, March 18, 2006

"I'm not stupid. I know I'm not getting girls off my good looks. When I'd sold 50,000 records, I was [having sex with] fat chicks in Virginia. I look in the mirror when I brush my teeth, I know what I look like" - Kid Rock in Blender

I like the [modified text] in this quote. ;-)

10:12 PM                       0 Comments

I/O Brush

Apologies for whatever crazy banner you get on this video's page, but thought the video itself was pretty cool.

And this one is just funny. :-)

8:10 PM                       1 Comments

Friday, March 17, 2006


1:31 PM                       1 Comments

Friday Five

1) If you were to star in a movie, who would you want to be cast as your love interest?
Matthew Mcconaughey or Ryan Reynolds.

2) What genre of movie would you most like to star in?
Comedy or action.

3) What song would you insist be on the soundtrack?
"Cocky" by Kid Rock.

4) What would you wear to the premiere of your movie?
Jeans, a fun shirt and the most frickin' kick-ass sandals or flip flops I could find.

5) Who would you thank in your Oscar acceptance speech?
Mom, Dad, family, friends, co-workers who made the Oscar possible and my doggies.

2:18 AM                       1 Comments

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Little known fact about Winter in Colorado

It turns you into a booger factory, with a side of chapped lips.

Other issues I'm battling today that are unrelated to Colorado:
  • zit above eyebrow
  • a shoulder that is sooooo tight, but I have too many issues to ever got get a massage.
  • upset stomach
  • zipper that won't stay up on my jeans (I battle this every day - all my jeans seem to have faulty zippers.) But, I've lassoed the zipper with a safety pin today and it seems to be doing the trick.
  • Safety pin zipper has made bathroom trips interesting.
  • Toenails need some new polish.
  • Brain keeps asking for beer. Or vodka....says he's not picky.

    POST-LUNCH EDIT: Splinter from my chopsticks. Ha!

11:20 AM                       4 Comments


The shoulder that hurts from too much repetitive mousing. And hair. Lots of it.


9:29 AM                       8 Comments

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Instant Magic Happy Floaty Fun

Whatever that anesthesiologist gave me before my surgery....I want some today. Bad.

1:25 PM                       0 Comments

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

I's gots to clean the taters outta my ear

Today, when Amy was ordering at the drive-thru, I thought that the boy on the other side of the speaker asked her if she wanted that doggie-style. (In actuality, I believe he said biggie-style or something like that.)

I laughed and laughed. No surprise there.

2:55 PM                       2 Comments

Monday, March 13, 2006

Get Him a Body Bag

I almost died when I saw this. :-) You know who you are.

10:57 PM                       2 Comments

What I Wish the Lyrics Really Were

In this verse:

Cause I'm a dog baby , See me ride across the country
I'm a dog bitch
Big suitcase full of money
I'm a dog mamma, And I'm rollin' El Camino
I'm a D-D-D dog

I always want the bold line to be:

"Big suitcase for the monkey"

It would so totally be better that way!

10:16 PM                       1 Comments

Copying Mr. Knoll's Thing...

My fortune today:

Very little is needed to make a happy life.

9:23 PM                       2 Comments

Five Happy Things

Okay, since I whined in my previous post, I thought I'd counter-balance it with an exercise in happy things.

1. Getting a box full of flip flops in the mail
2. Watching people laugh
3. Holding on by letting go.
4. Gonna see Kid Rock in April
5. I've been sleeping a little more.

1:24 PM                       1 Comments

I want my apathy back

Where did the FUNK REVERSAL button go? I'm tired of being in a crappity-do-dah funk. The level fluctuates, but I can't seem to kick it. Nothing is that bad, I'm just stuck.

I'm fighting it, and I think I might be starting to win. It was so much more fun being apathetic. I'm so not digging this funk phase. You know what I mean?

Oh and I think I've decided to stop talking so much. Maybe that will keep me off people's nerves.

12:44 PM                       0 Comments

Friday, March 10, 2006

Friday Five

1) 10 years ago what did you think you would be doing now?
You know what, I don't think I was thinking about it because I was in my senior year of college, and I wasn't concerned with much quite yet.

2) Where do you think you will be in 5 years from now?
I have no idea. But I hope happy, healthy and living life to the fullest.

3) Do you live life one day at a time or look to the future.
Mostly, I live one day at a time. I have committment issues. ;-) Although, I do have a 401K, does that count as looking to the future?

4) Do you wish you could go back in time and undo something in your life?
In general no, because all past events shaped who I've become today. I do think about decisions I have made and wonder what would have happened had I chosen a different path. But, I try to live life with no regrets.

5) If you could send a message back in time and give a younger version of yourself some advice, what would it be?
Start drinking before 21 and don't be afraid of who you are. Oh - and don't throw out all your old toys because you can make a shitload of cash on ebay from them.

9:40 AM                       3 Comments

Thursday, March 09, 2006


Took this on a hot day last July. :-)


9:53 AM                       11 Comments

Ray of Sunshine

Had a terrible morning that included nightmares, poop in the house, and a garbage bag full of trash scattered everywhere.

BUT...I just checked my e-mail, and Kid Rock is coming to town in April.

I know I'm so white trash for being psyched, but he really puts on a good show.

9:03 AM                       2 Comments

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Happy Birthday Lucy Gigglesworth!!!

My little Bunnypants is three years old today. That means she's 21. Maybe I should give her a bowl of beer. ;-)

I love my little Lucy.


1:38 PM                       1 Comments

A Not-So-HappyKap

**warning** there's some whinyness below...

I wish I was at home in my bed watching movies and floating in and out of lucid dreams. It's all rainy/snowish yuck outside and it seems like the perfect day to be lazy in bed.

Spent the weekend in Texas - saw Mom and Dad which was very cool. They rock. :-)

And on Tuesday I found out that the reason my feet have been killing me, is because I have plantar faciitis. Yeah, yeah, sounds like plantar warts, I know. :-) My problem is above and below the arch of my foot. And it SUCKS....but the Dr. gave me some anti-inflammatory pills and I woke up this morning for the first time in months with no foot pain. I'm not allowed to do anything for a week, which totally sucks for my fat ass.

Speaking of my fat ass: I'm totally starving like I didn't eat lunch, but I did. I feel like a heffer, I'm super hungry, and I'm under doctor's orders to not work out. Not an appealing combination.

I have forgotten my Sirius Sportster at home for two days in a row. I miss my Howard in the morning.

I also disappointed/hurt someone and I'm feeling really sad about it. I know it will work out, but it still sucks.

And yet another someone - even though they'd be seen in public with me, I still say no.

Watched one of the dumb bitches walk out of the women's bathroom without washing her hands...then I accidently looked in the mirror and wanted to yak when I saw how ugly I am.

I have not eaten any form of chocolate in well over a week. Oh, chocloate gods, please make my thighs shrink. (and the rest of my body)

I'm tired. The insomnia continues, it's such a jerk. ;-)

I need to go on a bender. It's been a while....

12:42 PM                       1 Comments

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Double Whammy

This morning my local news did live interviews with Kid Rock and Raven. Not at the same time, mind you, but still, I just thought it was funny.

1:28 PM                       2 Comments

Friday, March 03, 2006

Funky Buildings


(found this via my B3ta newsletter.)

12:53 PM                       5 Comments


Amy forwarded this to me, had to share:
  1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

  2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

  3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

  4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

  5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

  6. When you are confused -- I will use little words...and speak v-e-r-y-s-l-o-w-l-y.

  7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

  8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

  9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".

A good friend will help you move... a REALLY good friend will help you move a body... let me know if you ever need me to bring a shovel.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

12:37 PM                       3 Comments

Fun Vid

Check out this Jewish kid rockin' the dance floor.

9:25 AM                       2 Comments

Friday Five

1. What color is your hair?

2. When is the last time you accepted a dare?
I accept dares all the time.

3. Do you think you could have an affair?
I'm not married.

4. How often do you feel like walking on air?
Not very often.

5. How about despair?
Despair is going a strong word - so I'd say not that often at all.

8:32 AM                       3 Comments

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Searches that Have Led People Here in the Last Day
  1. bad and sexy (my personal favorite)
  2. what does that's so raven cologne smell like
  4. people getting pushed funny
  5. funny dentist videoclips
  6. monk-o mail (what the hell is monk-o mail????)
  7. funny picture guy in hooters uniform
  8. 3A (WTF??)
  9. heather's blog (the only one that makes total sense to lead here)

2:39 PM                       1 Comments


Sir Muffin-Top


8:39 AM                       20 Comments

Run Away!!!

Saw this on Ambs' blog and it just cracked me up.

7:20 AM                       2 Comments

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Happy March

Come on summer. :-)

2:28 PM                       3 Comments


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